Employee Notice: Skin Glue Moved AGAIN (Shop Conditions)

Location: Lil Rooster tuning bench
Time observed: 08:12 — suspiciously sticky

Folks — consider this the official shop report and simultaneously an HR-adjacent memo.

Summary:
Somebody relocated the skin glue AGAIN. It was discovered today behind the stack of old baseline files, in a mittens jar, and taped to the underside of the waxing bench like a small, sticky surprise. This is now being reported as a recurring phenomenon and possibly a social experiment.

What we found:

• Skin glue (1 tube) → moved from labelled "Glue — Top Drawer" to "Mystery Cupboard" (behind the spare edge tuner).
• One Post-It reading "for emergencies only" — not signed.
• A suspicious smear leading to the ski rack. Possible footprint: small, leaving a faint trace of shame.

Bench Conditions:

• Cleanliness: 6 (could be worse)
• Glue Accessibility: 2 (unless you enjoy spelunking)
• Shop Morale: 8 (this is comedy gold)
• Likelihood of Repeat Offense: 97%

Notice to Employees (Required reading):

1. If you move glue, leave a note, a haiku, or at least an incriminating sticker. We need context.
2. Return all adhesives to GLUE -> TOP DRAWER. This is a code of honor and a safety regulation in the same breath.
3. Anyone caught relocating glue will be assigned "gummy duty" for a week (that includes refilling applicators and explaining why liquid glue is not a snack).
4. If you find glue in an inappropriate place, take a photo and post it to the bench chat. Bonus points for dramatic captions.

Shop Action Plan:

• Immediate: Re-label the top drawer with reflective tape and a small, intimidating sticker: "DO NOT MOVE THE GLUE. SERIOUSLY."
• New protocol: Glue movements require a signed sticky note with time + initials. No exceptions (except when the boss is asleep).
• Longer term: Glue Amnesty Day next Friday — donuts provided. Bring your misplaced adhesives and explain your behavior to the group.

Weather/Resort Conditions Addendum (because this is still a conditions report):

• Snow: 0" (shop floor only)
• Conditions: Slightly waxy, occasionally sticky, warm with low visibility behind the waxing bench
• Recommended kit: nitrile gloves, strong coffee, an alibi

Final rating:

• Lil Rooster Operational Integrity: 5/10 (we out-sussed one glue thief today, but morale is high)
• Accuracy: 9/10 (you literally can't miss the sticky evidence)
• Entertainment value: 11/10

Signed,
The Tuning Bench (and whoever slid the glue under the files — you owe us a donut)